Why would I fund space travel, donate to UNICEF, or replenish vast ecosystems when I could so easily participate in the supreme act of collecting NFTs? It is often difficult to be of wealth in this day and age… deciding whether to send my millions toward philanthropy, or becoming a pioneer of the digital era. The environment is of my utmost concern, for example. I understand the impacts of coral bleaching, genuinely, and am extremely empathetic toward the tourists of Australia. Could you imagine lugging on all that scuba gear, only to find a barren wasteland of dead plants? I know my money could help them, in some enigmatic way, but I cannot ignore the current renaissance taking place. I am beholden to have been born at such a pivotal moment– frankly, I cannot take this for granted.
It is difficult to summarize the cultural shift currently taking place. I am often moved to shock while witnessing the trade of Ethereum Blockchain. The richest, neoteric figures of humanity, turning the pixelated tides of a utopian universe. What a rage. This is nothing mankind has ever seen before– the eruption of a parallel, entirely digital reality. This is the Metaverse. All of history has summed to this moment. How could I not participate? How?
There is so much to love in the Metaverse, where do I begin? Attending Vogue fashion shows and downloading the latest couture… isn’t it lovely that anyone can attend, unlike those uber exclusive physical shows? Of course, an Etherum wallet is needed. The location itself is prime real estate, a 6,000 square foot plot bought for $2.3 million by Decentraland. Decentraland is a vast marketplace for fashion, the place where I now spend most of my time– sitting on my couch, scrolling on my phone, stylizing my avatar.
But the real Metaverse climax is NFTs. Let me preface by stating I am aware $100 dollars could spare a Yemeni child from malnourishment, so my $200,000 could easily save a village with leftover profit toward higher education. But owning a Bored Ape NFT could do so much more. Essentially, an NFT is a unique digital file, most commonly seen as 2D art. So while someone could take a screenshot of my beloved Ape art or download it, they will never own the core code. Like the Mona Lisa hanging up in my foyer– the prints in IKEA cannot compare. But something about my Mona Lisa doesn’t strike the same chord as it used to… brushstrokes upon canvas bore me, where is the drama?
My Bored Ape NFT grants me access to the most influential brand on internet territory. Not only am I a proud member of the Metaverse Yacht Club, I can also display this status by badging all my account profile pictures to the image of my NFT. My followers have been practically doubling with every passing hour.
Last night I was online at Christie’s (a centuries old British auction house, if you were unaware), with the intention of purchasing art. I needed something to replace my trite Mona Lisa when I stumbled upon Beeple’s stunning NFT collage, The First 5000 Days. I knew that this artwork, being digital, could not physically replace my Mona Lisa, but it would figuratively satisfy me. I bought it for 69.3 million dollars. Not too far off from Vincet Van Gogh’s $71.3 million Cypress painting, although I believe my bid marks an iconic point in art history, unlike Van Gogh’s, and I am proud to continue fueling this machine of modernization.
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